dang i miss my hair

while having my nap just now, I vaguely heard my mum asking my brothers to call me. they couldn't find me cause I didn't respond to their calls. finally, my youngest brother came up to my room and found me sound asleep (like a dead log) on my bed.

I hear mum telling him to wake me up. He switched on the lights, (I heard the sound of my room lights turning on), and before it did, he switched it off. Then I hear him say to mum, "I think don't wake her up better lah." He probably saw how tired I was and decided to let me rest.

this is why I love him so much.

:)

pray for you

“If I knew that today would be the last time I’d see you, I would hug you tight and pray the Lord be the keeper of your soul. If I knew that this would be the last time you pass through this door, I’d embrace you, kiss you, and call you back for one more. If I knew that this would be the last time I would hear your voice, I’d take hold of each word to be able to hear it over and over again. If I knew this is the last time I see you, I’d tell you I love you, and would not just assume foolishly you know it already.”

—	Gabriel García Márquez

∞

some words touch our hearts, leaving permanent scars
some songs tell our story, which we never had the courage to say
some stories we keep to ourselves, some secrets we hide to forget

sometimes we sing to drown out the noise
sometimes we drink to let it all out
sometimes we smile when in fact we want to cry
sometimes we fall apart thinking everything would be better if we could just die


some people touch us with their life
some people touch us with their kindness
some people touch us, simply because they mean so much

love

i love you.


three simple words. and all the while I thought I was missing out on love because I wasn't in a relationship. but now I know, love exists in family, exists in friends. Love is powerful because it is from God, words just cannot describe how much I love so many people is so many different ways. I don't even know where to begin.. but i'll try.


I love my family, each and every one of them, for being just the way they are.
I love my dad, for his constant nagging.
I love my mum, i love how strict she is, and how at the end of the day, I see signs of her soft side.
I love my brother #1, for how he keeps me entertained with his funny jokes.
I love my brother #2, for his bragging about how good a gamer he is.
I love my brother #3, for he always has my back, and for how adorable and innocent he is.

and to all my friends, or perhaps strangers who have shown kindness towards me, or the other way round:

i love you, for choosing me and believing in me, giving me confidence and moulding me into what I am now. It is because of you that I start to have faith in myself.
i love you, without reason. Seeing you brightens my day and I love how we always have things to say despite how long we spent apart.
i love you, for always being patient with me.
i love you, and how you make me feel not alone. How we worry about the same things, and have the same thoughts on life. I love you and I hope you can open up to me more, in time.
i love you, you and your crazyness and the whole tipsy-turvy-package. you make me laugh like there's no tomorrow, seeing you brightens my day too.
i love you, how you're always checking up on me making sure i'm alright. i'm sorry I take you for granted sometimes but do know i'm trying my best to be as much a friend as you are to me.
i love you, how we've known each other since forever. I remember the first time we were in different classes, it tore me apart. haha. time flies and we're even far apart now, but i still love you with all my heart.
i love you, the you that you are now. you deserve to be happy, every day of your life. seeing you smile makes me smile too. please smile more.
i love you, mean as you are, the things you say never fails to make me laugh. I'm really glad you're happy now, please remember me.
i love you, despite the distance.
i love you, annoying as you are, you actually care about me.
i love you, you and your paranoid-ness. i love how we goof off with each other and just throw away our image :p
i love you, you're like our sugar daddy. whenever all of us are together, laughter is never missing. I love how we're always coming up with these crazy/silly actions. then repeating them to mock each other.
i love you, all 13 of you. i always have, and I always will.
i love you, seeing your picture makes me smile. I want the best for you, that's why I try my best to look out for you.
i love you, and I don't want anything bad to happen to you. i love you so much, so much, that i'm willing to sacrifice everything to go through this with you. but that'll be out of line..
i love you, and I care dearly about you. you really should take more care of yourself.
i love you, my shopping buddy. you always persuade me to buy things I don't need but despite it all, i love you :P
i love you, the one who gives the warmest hugs. you deserve to be happy too. I can't wait for the day you find true happiness.
i love you, the best guy friend i ever had. we're not as close anymore, but i'm still here for you whenever, if ever you need me.
i love you, you're really pretty, and talented, and bossy, and you always get what you want. haha but at the end of the day, i do still love you.
i love you, you're like the big brother I never had. thank you for looking out for me.
i love you, the sister I never had. you make me feel loved, though we seldom chat now, just a single text from you is enough to make me know you love me. and i'm really grateful for a sister like you.
i love you, you deserve nothing but the best, and seeing you happy now, i can only say that i'm happy too.





that's all I can think of for now.
think one of them is about you? well then, maybe it is. ;)

:)

"I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary."

Margaret Atwood 

怎么不被想要 还在为你效劳

it's one of those feel-awful-nights again. it's starting to be a regular thing now, and that kinda sucks.

:(

had a hair cut today. my long hair was just too much to handle - so heavy, messy and just ugh. i've no idea why it suddenly decided to dry up, it's like i'm growing haystacks instead of hair.

don't love my new hair, but looking at the remainder of my hair, i can't say i want it back...

D:

awful right? hmmm the hair stylist says I should straighten my hair, that it suits me more. hahaha contrary of what everyone else is telling me. considering it :p

everything happens for a reason, and I believe there is a reason for what is happening right now too. maybe it's for the best. but imho, was this really necessary? but anyways, it's your decision and I respect that.


nothing much on my mind. for someone who hates change, weirdly enough, it makes me happy when someone tells me that i've changed (attitude wise). I want to be a new person, a better person, better than I was yesterday.

我能拥有什么 答案早就明了

学会哭也能笑

怎么不听劝告 怎么不被想要 还在为你效劳？

会不会疯掉

做你的外套 只能穿梭你的外表

看到你对她的撒娇 可笑的是我没资格计较

做你的外套 拥抱着却不被拥抱

我是谁你知不知道 怎能随便穿上又换掉？

but i never told you what i should have said

better feel up the emptiness of this blog.

i have nothing to say. or rather, nothing I can say that won't be judged. see the thing about a public blog is -- people read it. sometimes it feels great knowing that people give a damn about you enough to want to read your blog, but sometimes you just don't want them to know.

what would people think of me, when they see what i write?

every little detail in my life, every string of thought in my head.

I've always been foolish, telling myself that as long as I don't say it out, then it doesn't exist. that's the main reason why i keep my problems to myself. that, and the fact that lately i'm finding it hard to string my thoughts into words.

"everybody talks."
another reason why I refuse to let these thoughts loose. once words are said, you can never take them back.


what am I going on about? lol
no point thinking what could've been. I guess it's the end of the road for now, so might as well continue on with my journey with my head tall. I CAN DO THIS! :D

off to a rough start

is it possible to feel this homesick, when in fact, I am home?

feeling so low right now. all the while I thought I was calling the shots, that the decision was mine to make, guess I was wrong..



P/s

study hard, Melo, study hard.