Stelena!

free week is ending!!! NOOOOOOOOO *wails* 

how how how? I've done nothing but slack away this whole week, but in all honesty, isn't that what free week's for? instead of giving us a break, we're thrown with even more ASSIGNMENTS and TESTS (which spells STRESS in case you weren't aware). how is that fair? is that even legal? lool. :( 

anyways some pics of our Four Seasons outing. just to cheer myself up a little. T_T

 I actually really like this pic hahaha

my motivation. woohoo. Paul Wesley. ahaha

i know there's not many Stelena supporters here, but it's alright, I'll live in my own fandom. ahaha. but seriously, the way Stefan looks at Elena.... my heart!! it melts ughghgh. :(

I guess part of me chooses him over Damon because I feel like he's just so sad all the time, I rarely see him smile, he deserves this, right? He deserves Elena. oh dear director please realize this AND STOP WITH THE LOVE TRIANGLE.

ya know, just putting that out there. ^-^

dang i miss my hair

while having my nap just now, I vaguely heard my mum asking my brothers to call me. they couldn't find me cause I didn't respond to their calls. finally, my youngest brother came up to my room and found me sound asleep (like a dead log) on my bed.

I hear mum telling him to wake me up. He switched on the lights, (I heard the sound of my room lights turning on), and before it did, he switched it off. Then I hear him say to mum, "I think don't wake her up better lah." He probably saw how tired I was and decided to let me rest.

this is why I love him so much.

:)

love

i love you.


three simple words. and all the while I thought I was missing out on love because I wasn't in a relationship. but now I know, love exists in family, exists in friends. Love is powerful because it is from God, words just cannot describe how much I love so many people is so many different ways. I don't even know where to begin.. but i'll try.


I love my family, each and every one of them, for being just the way they are.
I love my dad, for his constant nagging.
I love my mum, i love how strict she is, and how at the end of the day, I see signs of her soft side.
I love my brother #1, for how he keeps me entertained with his funny jokes.
I love my brother #2, for his bragging about how good a gamer he is.
I love my brother #3, for he always has my back, and for how adorable and innocent he is.

and to all my friends, or perhaps strangers who have shown kindness towards me, or the other way round:

i love you, for choosing me and believing in me, giving me confidence and moulding me into what I am now. It is because of you that I start to have faith in myself.
i love you, without reason. Seeing you brightens my day and I love how we always have things to say despite how long we spent apart.
i love you, for always being patient with me.
i love you, and how you make me feel not alone. How we worry about the same things, and have the same thoughts on life. I love you and I hope you can open up to me more, in time.
i love you, you and your crazyness and the whole tipsy-turvy-package. you make me laugh like there's no tomorrow, seeing you brightens my day too.
i love you, how you're always checking up on me making sure i'm alright. i'm sorry I take you for granted sometimes but do know i'm trying my best to be as much a friend as you are to me.
i love you, how we've known each other since forever. I remember the first time we were in different classes, it tore me apart. haha. time flies and we're even far apart now, but i still love you with all my heart.
i love you, the you that you are now. you deserve to be happy, every day of your life. seeing you smile makes me smile too. please smile more.
i love you, mean as you are, the things you say never fails to make me laugh. I'm really glad you're happy now, please remember me.
i love you, despite the distance.
i love you, annoying as you are, you actually care about me.
i love you, you and your paranoid-ness. i love how we goof off with each other and just throw away our image :p
i love you, you're like our sugar daddy. whenever all of us are together, laughter is never missing. I love how we're always coming up with these crazy/silly actions. then repeating them to mock each other.
i love you, all 13 of you. i always have, and I always will.
i love you, seeing your picture makes me smile. I want the best for you, that's why I try my best to look out for you.
i love you, and I don't want anything bad to happen to you. i love you so much, so much, that i'm willing to sacrifice everything to go through this with you. but that'll be out of line..
i love you, and I care dearly about you. you really should take more care of yourself.
i love you, my shopping buddy. you always persuade me to buy things I don't need but despite it all, i love you :P
i love you, the one who gives the warmest hugs. you deserve to be happy too. I can't wait for the day you find true happiness.
i love you, the best guy friend i ever had. we're not as close anymore, but i'm still here for you whenever, if ever you need me.
i love you, you're really pretty, and talented, and bossy, and you always get what you want. haha but at the end of the day, i do still love you.
i love you, you're like the big brother I never had. thank you for looking out for me.
i love you, the sister I never had. you make me feel loved, though we seldom chat now, just a single text from you is enough to make me know you love me. and i'm really grateful for a sister like you.
i love you, you deserve nothing but the best, and seeing you happy now, i can only say that i'm happy too.





that's all I can think of for now.
think one of them is about you? well then, maybe it is. ;)

怎么不被想要 还在为你效劳

it's one of those feel-awful-nights again. it's starting to be a regular thing now, and that kinda sucks.

:(

had a hair cut today. my long hair was just too much to handle - so heavy, messy and just ugh. i've no idea why it suddenly decided to dry up, it's like i'm growing haystacks instead of hair.

don't love my new hair, but looking at the remainder of my hair, i can't say i want it back...

D:

awful right? hmmm the hair stylist says I should straighten my hair, that it suits me more. hahaha contrary of what everyone else is telling me. considering it :p

everything happens for a reason, and I believe there is a reason for what is happening right now too. maybe it's for the best. but imho, was this really necessary? but anyways, it's your decision and I respect that.


nothing much on my mind. for someone who hates change, weirdly enough, it makes me happy when someone tells me that i've changed (attitude wise). I want to be a new person, a better person, better than I was yesterday.

我能拥有什么 答案早就明了

学会哭也能笑

怎么不听劝告 怎么不被想要 还在为你效劳？

会不会疯掉

做你的外套 只能穿梭你的外表

看到你对她的撒娇 可笑的是我没资格计较

做你的外套 拥抱着却不被拥抱

我是谁你知不知道 怎能随便穿上又换掉？

have a little faith ♥

everything happens for a reason. and i would very damn well like to know why today happened.

page 12 of 366 was disastrous for me, an emotional roller coaster ride. if you thought I was crazy before, seeing me today would make you doubt no more.


it just seemed slightly impossible. out of all the faulty products, why me?
one second, i'm okay with the whole thing, I can even joke about it. and the next, i'm gasping for air thinking why is all this happening to me? don't I deserve an iphone too? after all this wait, nothing? *pulls hair*


just feel like screaming my lungs out. but there's no one to direct my anger at, for it is nobody's fault. probably only myself to blame for having such rotten luck.

thanks to friends and family and the guy from Apple Service, i'm still holding on to that tiny bit of faith I have left.. please Lord, pretty pretty please?

but i never told you

ohh it's bout time i squeeze out an update to fill the emptiness of this blog. D:
life's been busy, great, good. but my gum is swelling and it hurts like hell. thankfully i feel it getting better, the pain is more bearable now, and my fever is gone. :)

actually it's a good thing, falling sick before travelling. at least i didn't fall sick during the holiday right? :D

well.. the past week was nice, though tiring.
attended a Christmas party on Saturday. it wasn't that fun, to be frank. no droolable guys at all, we just sat down, ate and i spent the rest of the night staring at cute kids. haha

 this is dad. every time i held the camera, he'll be like "come on, take a picture of me. since you're already holding it" -_-

 me and my bro's. :D

 dad and mum

 after eating, went downstairs for some 'shopping' and look what i bought -- a Hello Kitty laptop bag. wuahhaa <3

that's one big... no idea what you call it :o


but wait! the highlight of the night was....... *drum rolls*

we won the raffle draw!! TWICE!!! hahaha 

ain't it amazing?! 

and this pink luggage is one of the prize!! T_T so happy please. muahaha. since it's pink so naturally it's mine. HAHAHA double happiness ;)



x
hehe and the other day, went on a date with Doreen!
we had sushi then Secret Recipe after. :O
after cake she had McD ice cream again -_- i was too bloated for ice cream though. how on earth is she so thin?!?! T_T

love her! :]

birthday pressie from Doreen! hhahaha :o

okayy. my update is over. please do return to my blog. don't forget about me. hahaha :0

vain pic of me to end the post. long time no camwhore lor. hehe. bye everyone!

happy December.

Merry Christmas. :)

instead of butterflies, you leave this bittersweet feeling in my stomach

"what I witnessed just now was beautiful. life in its full glory.
with everyone dancing,clapping and singing, rejoicing to the Lord with all their strength
it was beautiful




never have I seen something more majestic. haha it touched me. it really did. I never knew love was so near, if only we reached out and grab it. 


at the end of the night, people i don't know of came up to me and thanked me for the wonderful music. 


such a simple compliment you might think, but it touched me deeply. 


it feels so good, having someone look you in the eye and say thank you. 


everything is beautiful, all worries cease. and for once, everything was perfect. 


and I bet everyday can be perfect too, if only I face it with the right attitude - with love. "

x

i wrote that few days back, after the second day of the conference, but had no time to post it up. so i'm posting it now :D

the 3 days of conference was life changing. i really missed those days, the people and the band. sigh. but just like a really great movie, it is over, and i have to put myself together and get on with life. :)

amazing people :)

last but not least, with Fr. John Amsberry from America :D

be grateful for the things that did and did not happen

something freaky happened the other day.

watched Final Destination with Doreen and Chang. i was shaking and making weird noises all throughout the movie >:(
i bet nobody would want me as their movie date anymore.

anyways, after we left the cinema, my heart was still pounding. i don't know why i felt so uneasy.
scenes from the movie kept playing back in my head. i look at something and immediately picture something happening which leads to my gruesome death. it was torturing, really.

but just like the movie, there are actually signs leading to the death. but of course in reality we don't die in such a horrifying way lah. *fingers crossed*


well here's the thing that happened:
after the movie, we went home. i was driving that day. sign #1 was that we realized my wipers weren't working well. the windshield was still dirty making it hard to see.

we reached the traffic lights beside the police station. it was a green light so of course i continued driving. however as i was driving midway in the yellow box, only then i noticed sign #2. the car in the slow lane wasn't moving. at first in my head i was thinking, hmm it was a green light, why didn't he drive?

so i took a look at the traffic lights. sure enough, it was green. but alas, after closer look, it was saying that the turning to the right was green, not move forward green. WHAT THE SMURF!

then right before our eyes, sign #3 appeared. a car was U-turning and I was about to drive into it. thank God in the end i managed to brake and turn my car to the left. I heard a bump but til now i'm not sure where that sound came from as there was no damaged on the other car. even my car was unscathed.

it was so so scary. the first thought that came to mind was 'fuck. i'm screwed.'
but praise the Lord, nothing happened. the other driver was stern but he didn't give me a hard time. all he said was, "my gosh you're so young. you're not married right?" i guess what he meant was it would have been such a waste if i died so young. that's really touching in a way. how he valued my life, and didn't even scold me saying that i could have caused him his life, or his car.

and before he left, he also asked me to pray. hahaha. and yes indeed i should.

thank you Lord for keeping me safe that night. thank you for preventing whatever it was that was supposed to happen. Thank you for letting me have Doreen beside me. i probably would have broke down right then right there if she wasn't there. and also, thank you thank you for letting me still be alive. so many things could've happened. there could've been a car from the other side driving at high speed and crashing into me? but for now, i'm just grateful i'm given a second chance. :)

the window

just wanted to squeeze in an update though i have like, tonnes of other more important things i should be doing. hehe


had an eventful weekend.
celebrated AC's belated birthday on Friday at 72 Bian. just look how big the crowd was. haha

 first time lor so many people. even Awhyo not this crowded. haha

 caught a movie after dinner.
 Zoo Keeper. have you watch it? haha it's hilarious!

inside cinema also camwhore. *shakes head*

bought these hair ties. so adorable!! :>


then Saturday night, had dinner with Doreen and Adrian at Citrus. hoho.

 i secretly think they make a cute couple :P

ngek ngek ngek. my crazy psycho babe! :D <3

and dinner at Citrus wouldn't be perfect without~~ *drum roll please*

their infamous Symphony Waffles. hehehehehe <3


that was our farewell dinner for Adrian cause he's leaving to KL soon :((
all the best in your studies hubby! doubt you'll ever see this, but still. :D

x

anyways, i guess probably most of you already saw this coming..

i photoshoped another picture of mine!! and i can't believe i'm gonna say this, but i look gorgeous!! wtf

my gosh. who is this stunning Caucasian?!

okay seriously i crack myself up.



x
and last but not least, some wise words before i end this post.

remember the Window episode in How I Met Your Mother?
I do! and I love that show because it teaches us many things about life. it's like Ted's Guide in coping with failure in life & love, and how you need friends to get through life.

first off, you have Ted's BFF Marshall, -who kinda reminds me of Bryan probably cause of the height-, who's kinda awkward and geeky, but never fails to be there for you in times of need.

and you have Lily, the friend who has a lot of opinion and won't rest til you take her advice. i don't really like her, to me she's kinda manipulative. but then again, she's good sometimes, kind hearted and just wants the best for everyone.

Robin, best friend slash ex lover of Ted. this goes to show that sometimes (though not recommended) ex-es CAN still be friends. but honestly she's kinda weird and desperate, very career minded she is. but just like the others, she's a good friend. the only one who is brave enough to bitch slap Lily if she goes overboard.

Then we have the friend everybody loves to hate -- Barney Stintson.
who doesn't love Barney? ahaha. the Barney who created the bro code, the one who overuses the word 'legend.... -wait for it- dary' and who loves giving high fives. the one who has a witty comeback to just about everything, and claims himself as Ted's best friend. though a player in nature, he'd do just about anything for the girl he loves.

Last but not least, we have Ted. Ted's a nice guy. struggling through life, just like all of us. i like him because he's strong, he believes in his dreams and goals, and he fights for them. He believes in fate, and he never stopped believing that he would find the perfect girl and marry her. and he did. (though we still DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL HIS WIFE IS!) He's hard headed, and sometimes ends up making silly decisions. and here's what i love most about him -- he sticks with his choices, and though he ends up hurting/humiliating himself, he regrets nothing. He is true to himself and his choices and that's what i admire most about him. :)



okayy back to the Window episode. in that episode, there's this girl that Ted has been waiting to date for years. every time she breaks up, her neighbor would call Ted and tell him that "the window's open". and every year, Ted rushes to her apartment, wanting to console her and hopefully becoming her next boyfriend, but every year, someone beats him to it. so he decided that this was the last straw, the next time the damn window opens, he's gonna be the first there no matter what.

and indeed, his chance came, and he was the first to arrive. he brings her to their usual bar. He was gone for awhile and as always, someone beat him to the girl, and the guy ends up marrying her. though disappointed with his defeat, as always, Ted accepts the fact and gives them his blessing.

to me, this episode portrays a really important and meaningful message --- if something wasn't meant to be yours, then no matter how hard you try to make it happen, it just won't. maybe that's the mystery in life, why sometimes hard work simply doesn't pay off.

i think i'm saying this because there's this guy, he's totally my type (to be honest) but he has a gf. so i was thinking to myself, what if one day he breaks up with her, maybe i should rush there first so i'd have my chance. ROFL. but you read my post right? i'm assuming you did. so you should know that i won't do that. ;D


(and i can't believe i wrote all these words just because of one thought that flashed through my head)

i'll do it tomorrow

Macbeth:

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

And then is heard no more.

It is a tale

Told by an idiot,

full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing.

Macbeth Act 5, scene 5, 19–28

 seriously, i'm too lazy for my own good.
when will i change?

where's the good in goodbye?

他 渐渐的
走出我的世界

我能怎么办？
留下他？
求他别走？

不可能。
他要离开，就算我说什么 做什么
能改变他的决定么？


没有怎么样
因为我的心从来没在

是我离开你
不是你离开我。

talking in parables

they say you learn something new everyday. and indeed you do.

i realize that some things are meant to be seen from afar, to preserve its beauty. i'm talking in parables, please try to read between the lines.

 that pretty face really serves its purpose well. you make hearts flutter and skip a beat. you make fools out of people who'd shed blood and tears for you. ahh~ but a pretty face is all it'll ever be now, is it?

i'm an emotional train wreck. i get mood swings so often it's like i'm having my period every single day of the year. like whut? why am i saying this? i've no idea. i'm just so sick of being blue.

you know the answer to a question, and you know it isn't the answer you want. you asked anyways, and indeed, you were right about the answer. why then, did you still feel sad? you were well aware that the answer wasn't going to be pleasing in the beginning. there's nobody to blame but yourself for not killing that last bit of hope you had inside of you. poor poor fool.

an emotion filled night

you know that feeling you get, where you with all your heart, want to reach out and do something, anything that will make things better, but can't. it eats you up inside, wanting to help so much yet being so helpless at the same time.

you must be wondering what i'm talking about.


my little brother was once again, been mistreated at school. last time, he was bullied and his books were thrown by bullies in his class. he was scared of them. imagine going to school in fear, dreading each day's arrival, wondering what they are going to do to you next. i remember him loving Ben10. but he refused to use the Ben10 bottle i gave him on his birthday, saying it is too childish. so i'm thinking probably it's his classmates that have been saying mean things to him. well, screw them all.

another time, he was pushed by one of his classmates and fell face-first on the floor. he came home with wounds on his face. the person who pushed him said 'it wasn't his fault'. well my dear boy, if it wasn't your fault, why then did you run away instead of helping him up? was it not out of guilt? oh don't bother, i might be wrong. you were probably in a hurry to pee.

and now, i found out that his teacher hit his head with a book just because he wasn't paying attention during class. and when he did that, his head hit the table. wow. what fantastic teaching skills are being applied in SJK Chung Hua Krokop. perhaps one day it'll even be legal to throw your students off the roof just because they were late for class.

sure, students may be hard headed, but hitting them? don't you think it'll make things worse hitting them on the head? like, what if their brain gets smashed, or what if they lose their memory? think about it.

i just really want the best for my little brother. he means the world to me. and it tears me apart knowing how hard his life has been. why are all the bad things happening to him? why not me? can i share the burden? that's all i can pray for, because i really don't know what else i can do.

personal

ahh, saw this on tumblr. i don't know how or why, but the last sentence touched me. we're all weird little things now, aren't we?

some of us have everything, yet complain that we don't have enough;
some of us have nothing, yet are grateful just for being given another day.

some of us can't wait to die, for the struggles on earth are simply too much to handle;
some of us are sick and have limited time to live, yet are fighting with all their might to go on.


not sure why i'm blogging about this. but somehow, i just feel that i'm weird too.
i complain that i don't have this and that, while others around me are so much better off getting whatever they want.
then again, there are times where i feel unworthy for the things that i do have. sometimes i feel that God is too good to me, that i don't deserve the things I have. and that He should instead be kinder to others, for others have worked their asses off more than I did.
you get what i'm saying? neither do I. i'm just weird. and i complain too much. >:(

i guess what i'm trying to say is... simply too hard to put into words. so i'll just leave it as it is.

zombies want your brain

went to the beach just now. kinda sohai-ed the whole day. felt great, only now, i'm feeling exhausted, and that is so not me.

anyways, saw these gorgeous pair of shoes in a shop. really like it but sadly i can't afford to simply spend on stuffs cause i have no more part time job. $$ flow is dead for now. damn. sucks laa this feeling. i'm trying my best to control so i can put some $$ inside the bank. it's almost 0 liao. HAHA so pity.

having fun at the beach. by having fun i mean taking tonnes of pics. lolol

Jac showing off her tattoo and me my bracelets hahaha

red hair. :D

zombie face HAHAHAHA!!
i love my double chin yo \m/

 don't i look innocent here?
:3


eesh. my posts are getting more and more pointless. probably not enough time to think. so not much to rant about. or rather, there's too much to rant about that i don't have the time nor energy to put them into words.


boo. and by the way, results are out. honestly i'm quiet happy that i passed all my subjects. just pass though. you might think my expectations are low, well, yes they are. but it's not my fault i'm lazy (okay maybe it is i am trying my best to change yada yada) and lack perfect memory ya know. so passing is considered not bad, for my standards. plus, the papers weren't exactly easy peasy. i passed. to me it was enough. i was even happy and thought about asking for a reward. but boohoo. jokes on me, i guess it's not enough for your standards. no point asking for a new phone now. *lifelong dream shatters*

move along now, if you need me i'll be standing by the phone shop, looking longingly at the Blackberry wishing it'll be mine. bloody