fairytale

errrrr new top i bought online!  the cause of my poverty




anyways, the quality is lousier than expected. definitely not the worth the price, so i kinda feel scammed. >:(
well at least it looks nice in pictures? T_T

this is how it looks like on the person.
well i'm not that thin so.... T_T LOL!

okay that is all.

i hope the anon don't come back and tell me that i'm "FUCKING FUGLY".
cos i have to admit i don't handle criticism well.
heck, in fact, i don't handle criticism AT ALL.

i put out a front that it's funny and that it's all bullshit, but deep inside it bites me bit by bit and i get more and more insecure. urgh. so please, spare me.


k thanks bye. 

insecurities

shopping hauls from last week. i think i'm addicted to hair bands. i can't stop thinking about the shop where we got our hairbands from. i want to go back and buy every single one of them. >:(

Jacq this is all your fault! *sigh*

not feeling my best tonight. not sure what is up.
i guess i'm just being me. chickening out at times when i should be strong. yea, typical melo.

and i feel life catching up on me. things that shouldn't matter are bothering me. and i don't know how to make it stop.

i guess i just want what everyone wants - the guarantee.

twitter

you know how you can write a short description of yourself on twitter?

it fascinates me how people can come up with catchy things to say. and secretly, it's one of my hobbies - reading people's description of themselves on twitter. :p

here are some which caught my eye (hope this doesn't invade your privacy D:)

see your twitter in there? :p

and here's mine:

it used to be "i'm the queen bitch, fear me." , but who am i kidding? as much as i try to be, i am not intimidating at all. i can be angry and no one would even notice. -___-



i still remember in primary school, i was so angry with this guy for teasing me so i shouted at him. he was stunned, so was everybody else. but wow wow wee, i felt so much authority so every once in a while i'll shout at him. =.=" silly me. hahaha

but oh well, i was young, and wanted to be heard. can't blame me right? xD

HAHA!

hello! hahahaha

did my pic scare you? :DDDD
felt sohai last night, so took these pics of me looking confused and staring off into space. and that's my hair after combing. slightly fluffier than usual.

anyways, my night was wonderful. i combed my hair while watching 'Love Actually' and melting over Hugh Grant's smile. i'm so hardcore.

 i know i know, it's an old movie, but not as old as Hugh Grant. HAHA i have weird taste. maybe one day i should make a post on all the guys i think is hot. it'll be epic.

 "i really need to poop. where's the nearest toilet?"

 "oh sigh. there's no toilet paper here. HOW?!?!!" HAHAHAHA

this one is after pooping punya face. ROFL.

okay just kidding kay!
 i DO NOT stop to pose for photos when i need to go okay! hahah


and lastly, a normal picture of me:

yea man. sibeh messy lah my hair.

follow your arse

so i read this book again last night. it's a special book as it lets YOU decide the ending of the story. so of course i had to give another go, since the last time all my endings were SUCKISH. ie, i lost my best friend and the guy. what??!


and what's worse is i made all my decisions based on what i'd do if this situation occurred in real life. omg so is this a prediction that if i did what i did in real life, my ending would be like that? sucks man. i mean seriously. seems like all the bitchy decisions (in the book) lead to better outcomes. what happened to being a good person huh? T_T


and weird thing is, with every different decision you make, the guy's attitude changes. -___-


for example,
if you choose A, (which often is the right thing to do), he ends up being a psychopath or he suddenly realizes how much he loves your bestfriend and couldn't bear to break up with her. thus, you didn't get the hottie AND you distance yourself from your best friend and turn into a loner.

HOWEVER, if you choose B, (which is the bitchier choice, say, leave your best friend who passed out on the ground and go off with him on his motorcycle), he miraculously realizes how much better off you are compared to your best friend, and opens up to you on things he never told his girlfriend aka your soon to be EX best friend. WTF


STUPID BOOK. or maybe the author's a bitch. that explains a lot.

i just had to

must

resist

urge

to

lick

whip

cream

off

him.




nuff' said. Adam Levine is too sexy. too sexy. 
and those brows, damnnnnnnnnn.

be grateful for the things that did and did not happen

something freaky happened the other day.

watched Final Destination with Doreen and Chang. i was shaking and making weird noises all throughout the movie >:(
i bet nobody would want me as their movie date anymore.

anyways, after we left the cinema, my heart was still pounding. i don't know why i felt so uneasy.
scenes from the movie kept playing back in my head. i look at something and immediately picture something happening which leads to my gruesome death. it was torturing, really.

but just like the movie, there are actually signs leading to the death. but of course in reality we don't die in such a horrifying way lah. *fingers crossed*


well here's the thing that happened:
after the movie, we went home. i was driving that day. sign #1 was that we realized my wipers weren't working well. the windshield was still dirty making it hard to see.

we reached the traffic lights beside the police station. it was a green light so of course i continued driving. however as i was driving midway in the yellow box, only then i noticed sign #2. the car in the slow lane wasn't moving. at first in my head i was thinking, hmm it was a green light, why didn't he drive?

so i took a look at the traffic lights. sure enough, it was green. but alas, after closer look, it was saying that the turning to the right was green, not move forward green. WHAT THE SMURF!

then right before our eyes, sign #3 appeared. a car was U-turning and I was about to drive into it. thank God in the end i managed to brake and turn my car to the left. I heard a bump but til now i'm not sure where that sound came from as there was no damaged on the other car. even my car was unscathed.

it was so so scary. the first thought that came to mind was 'fuck. i'm screwed.'
but praise the Lord, nothing happened. the other driver was stern but he didn't give me a hard time. all he said was, "my gosh you're so young. you're not married right?" i guess what he meant was it would have been such a waste if i died so young. that's really touching in a way. how he valued my life, and didn't even scold me saying that i could have caused him his life, or his car.

and before he left, he also asked me to pray. hahaha. and yes indeed i should.

thank you Lord for keeping me safe that night. thank you for preventing whatever it was that was supposed to happen. Thank you for letting me have Doreen beside me. i probably would have broke down right then right there if she wasn't there. and also, thank you thank you for letting me still be alive. so many things could've happened. there could've been a car from the other side driving at high speed and crashing into me? but for now, i'm just grateful i'm given a second chance. :)

心酸

知道不能得到想要的东西
除了心酸，

只有心酸。

退到了绝境再退

退到了绝境再退

破碎到不能破碎

那么为什么，你就不肯说，我只能猜疑却都错

泪水灌溉这伤悲，

绝望是你赐给的安慰

为何你说慌，我却受惩罚

你不如就用刀刺下

我可以痛了再痛，

你可以错了再错

不甘心，不闪躲， 只为那失真的承诺

我转身让你换着活，

你存心用尽我宽容

为什么连谎言你也刺破？

爱和痛彼此纠结，

悲和我无法分解

厌倦的疲累，

成了一片黑 伤痛都已无法相灭
泪水滋润着泪水，

背叛是你另一种慰藉

完美的借口，泪无不留下，

你不如用乱箭射吧

即使我头也不回，

这悲剧猛向我追

情愿你全部摧毁，

别留着燎原的火堆

给你的自由将我吞没，

给我的爱像一根绳索

你放手却困住了我

为什么…… 连谎言你也不说？

- 张栋梁《错了再错》

x
i put this song on repeat when i'm feeling down. and i love it. 
不懂这是什么变态的感觉，真的很不舒服。
整个人开心不起来，却又说不出为什么。
到底是为了什么？
是真的不知道，还是自己不让自己知道。

love you like a love song

just gonna post up some old photos.
 well they aren't that old, memories from August. :)

somehow things were less complicated then.

night at Al Fresco with awhyo.
look at our crazy faces

 i look slim here. if only that were real.

 finally, a pic where we look equally fair. :P
btw it's been so long i miss yo ass already! :( :(

with mum! :)

 love Heidi's expression here.
and she has no idea what 'cheap' means. she highlighted her hair for rm200+ and she said it was cheap. *faints*

 just to make Doreen jealous! :>

 i love this. especially the one where i'm petting the hamster and Heidi's poking it. ahaha cuteness!

iphone covers!!
love the pearl hello kitty. checked the shop the other day and it was gone! can't believe people actually buy from that shop. ughh but looking at it makes me want to buy it.

 so this was last Tuesday.
went visiting in the morning with Jac's family, her dad brought us sight seeing too. what an eye opener that day was. never knew Miri had so many crazy rich people.

at night, it was our performance. and after we headed to Al Fresco to drink our sorrows away :]
and coincidentally, there was a lot of people cause they were there for the Merdeka countdown!

and on Merdeka day itself, went out with awhyo for high tea at Citrus. after that, we headed to Parkson to buy tissues! lolol look at the amount of tissues bought :p

after that we left for Merdeka Mall to catch our movie! :B Cars 2. it was damn friggin funny. til this day i still couldn't find my ass. i accidentally laughed my ass off that day :S

and lastly, had KFC for dinner! wuahaha. honesly my burger sucked. the meat was so hard :( but enjoyed it nevertheless. hehehe

jetlagged

my pretty new friend :P
been pretty busy lately. short on money too! like that's new. so i'm trying my best to focus only on buying a new phone for now.

so which phone do you think i should get?

the latest BB Bold 9900? with its sexy touchscreen and qwerty keypad is to die for, but it's like friggin RM2190, almost same price as iPhone4. might as well just get an iphone right?

or BB Bold 9780, which is 1.5k?

or just get BB Curve, which is RM800 or so. haha. save my money even

i just really want a phone so badly right now, so my mind can rest and i can stop saving and just buy whatever i damn well please.  take that hello kitty plush for instance, (the one selling in the fun fair outside of Parkson for *cough* RM200!!!!) lmao.


xx

anyways, i received an email on a product that allows you to save any audio/video/music clip played on your browser into your computer! i think that's pretty cool.

Capture flash video and audio from any website to your computer

the product is known as JCopia. want to know more? simply click here.




xx

haha okayy that is all from me.
gonna end with a meaningful quote:

"if you cannot forgive others, how do you expect God to forgive you?"