disappointed

every now and then i do something that makes me feel disappointed with myself. ughghg my posts have been so emo lately. that sucks. where's the happy-go-lucky melo??

i hate how things are turning out. i neglect my studies, and all of a sudden all these wants pop out of nowhere. i think i should just lock myself at home. i feel like such a disappointment. i hate that word. it pierces a hole through my heart every time i hear it. even more so when it's directed to me. you wouldn't understand. that pain i felt when i heard those words. you probably won't know that i feel guilty, very guilty. but i'm just thankful that i got away unscathed. i still remember the last time something like this happened. it was the scariest moment of my life, i swear. i've told no one about it. no one.

when's the end of the world? is it soon? i hope it is cause this world is seriously messed up.


and time, why does it pass so fast! can you slow down for me? i really need you to. i have all this mess in my head that i need to clear up so i can focus on my studies. i really need to start cramming those books. God knows how lazy i've been this sem. sigh. sigh sigh sigh.