to my beloved Bean Bean:

dear Bean Bean,

how are  you?

i really really miss you right now. i miss how fat you are, and how lazy you are to even exercise. once i put you in the portable wheel and made you run while i play the computer. you were so lazy, you stopped walking after awhile and just lay there, with this exhausted look on your face.

 i remember like it was just yesterday.

i remember the first time i had the courage to hold you in my hands. i was afraid you would bite. and you did. just lightly though. but after that you never bit me again.

i also remember that one time when you peed on my hand! it was a hilarious moment. haha but that made me love you even more.

i remember when it was just you, you alone in that big cage of yours. living like a king. everyday i would come and visit you, and pet you and just fondle with you. i love how fat you are. i love how lazy you are. i love the fact that you're both - fat and lazy. ♥

we used to bring you into the house all the time. there was one time where we brought you to the living room. you got excited at first and wandered around on the sofa. but then you got tired, and we took that opportunity to take pictures of you!

just look how innocent you are.

i've never loved anything as much as i loved you.

then one day, i decided to find you a partner. what a bad decision it was. we got you a wife, and together you made lovely children. but.. i hated your wife. she's evil.

when your babies were born, i noticed some scratches on your face. and one day, to my horror, i saw your wife attack you just because you lingered a little too near to the babies. you flew all the way to the other side of the cage. did you know how bad i felt? sigh.

and when those children of yours grew older, you grew older as well.
they started undermining you. you were the last one to get food whenever i came to fill the bowl.

and as you grew older and weaker, you just stayed in your house and seldom move about. i stayed and watch over late one night, and saw the others stealing your food. you were so weak, and they didn't even let you have ONE piece of food. i was furious. so i took a piece for you and threw it into your little house. one of the hamsters had the nerve to climb into your house and snatch it away from you.

so every time that other hamster climbed into your house, i pushed it away. but you were too weak to eat. and that hamster was too persistent and never gave up climbing. so in the end i had to give up too.. i didn't know what to do anymore. :(

i had to accept the fact that you're old now.. and that you're only an animal.. there was nothing i could do to stop it from stealing from you. so i left.
but do understand how bad i felt that i couldn't do anything about it.


then it was January 2010. i went on a trip to KL with my friends. of course i missed you! but alas, on the last few days of my trip, my brother messaged me saying that you might not make it.

that night, i prayed to God. i asked Him to give you time, at least wait until I reach Miri. at least let me see you one last time before you go.

but no.. you left before i could reach home. you left me without saying goodbye. i cried silently when i received the news. but i thank the Lord that you lived a good life, and died of old age.

i hope i was a good owner to you. because i really did love you with all my heart. i just can't love any other hamster as much as i loved you. so i guess that's what i want to say. no more hamsters. none of them can ever replace you. i miss you ♥

Love,
your owner.