bro's before ho's

i am at a loss for words. am feeling bitter, very very bitter.

got home last night, and was greeted with the sight of all our shoes scattered on the lawn. my younger brother's Crocs teared and bitten into smithereens. whoever said that crocs are indestructible are wrong. thankfully, both my Crocs were fine, except for the fact that all, and i do mean all, my Jibbits were gone. i found a few on the grass. less than 10 left. sigh. i am seriously depressed.

i thought i was alright with it, but i don't think i am. not because of the damn jibbits. yes, maybe a little. what bothers me most is how my so called mother reacted to it all. she didn't feel even the slightest pity for me. i bought most of the jibbits myself, some were gifts from friends. all gone, just like that. i was moaning about how i lost my collection and she snapped at me saying "collection? start collecting only when you have a salary lah." so much for seeking comfort from my mother. and then, she wasn't angry with my dog. usually, she'd be raging and shouting at the dog for running out of the house. but now? she destroyed half my collection of jibbits and nothing? nothing??????!!! you have got to be fucking kidding me.

i heard my dad asking my mum jokingly why she didn't hit the dog. and she said, "at first i was wondering why she suddenly bit all the shoes, cause she usually doesn't do that. but then i realized it's because we didn't left her enough food." oh. since when you're so rational? since none of your shoes were bitten i suppose. oh it's okay. the dog did nothing wrong. she just lost my daughter's jibbits, that's all. who cares what my daughter feels.

i feel like screaming in your face and tell you that i really fucking hate you. just like how you looked me in the eyes and told me you hated me and didn't want to talk to me, outside of church!! there. i said it. i fucking said it. i don't care whether you meant it or not. you have no idea how much i want to look you in the eye and tell you that i don't like you that much either. or maybe just pack my bags and leave. or announce to them that i will be dropping out of Curtin and find a job or something. anything. anything to get me out of this house. i can't stand it anymore.

would it kill you to just talk to me nicely? i'd like to think that it would because i can't seem to find any reason why you're treating me this way.