Monday, January 4, 2010

this year I promise to...

read this article from CLEO mag (Jan 2010) 'His Say' section. it's damn hilarious so I just had to post it up here :P

here's what he/she wrote:

I recently started going out with the most amazing girl
and unlike any other relationships I had previously,
this is one I really do not want to screw up (hey, that's one resolution already).
But let's face it,
pretty soon she will go from finding me dreadfully funny
to just being plain dreadful.

So before we get to that stage,
I am going to make 2010 all about her.
Here are my resolutions to her.
I will...

Or at least make it less obvious, I know you hate how my attention spam goes from full to null when a pretty girl walks by.
I blame it on my boy genes; after all we are a big fans of pretty sights,
especially when they walk by on a pair of hot legs.
If it is any consolation, that's how I first noticed you when you walked past me at our favourite coffee joint. Tell you what, for every girl I gawt at, you are allowed to make a comment on how irresistably hot your favourite Hollywood vampire is.
And OK, I will also stop checking out Facebook profiles of the girls I used to have crushes on.

I know she's your best friend but seriously,
how do you stand Stacy's annoying non-stop blabber about what a jerk her ex is?
It was wrong of me to tell her to get a life
but don't you think that is better than analysing the whole drama the way you girls do it for hours?
Here's the thing- guys know exactly how another one operates
so when I tell Stacy she should lose him,
I am not being rude,
I am 100 percent sure he's just not that into her.
 But for you,
I will bite my tongue before I say anything remotely guy-centric to any of your friends.
Promise me this though- don't take out all your men frustration on me just because your friend's been dumped by her loser boyfriend.
We aren't all that bad.

Like that dress you bought for our date, your new hair do, the fact you are having a bad day and just want to whinge, your favourite flower, your favourite dessert and how you take your coffee. I will start paying attention so the minute you walk through that door, I'll know exactly what to say to make you smile.
Good idea?

OK, I get it - farting is not cute. Neither is belching. And while we are at it, I will stop picking my nose, biting my nails and spitting them out everywhere, jumping queue at traffic, swearing when my favourite football team misses a goal, leaving dirty dishes at the sink, drinking juice out of the carton and yes,
I will remember to put the toilet seat down.

When you say nothing is wrong, I will know that what you are trying to say is I've done something wrong and I should make up for it, pronto. When you say you don't need me to go shopping with you for your niece's birthday present, you actually mean yes.
And the clincher?
When you say you look fat in your new dress,
that's my cue to say "no, don't be absurd you look absolutely fabulous!"

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