have you ever felt this way too?

there's something bothering me ... 

this year, we drove to Marudi. a few days after we arrived back in Miri, mum told me the news of a family who died cos their car fell into the drain. none survived. it's so tragic. after i heard it i had goosebumps. 

the mother, father and 2 young child died in the accident. 

they have 2 other older children who didn't went on the trip cos they were studying. 

my gosh.. i can't even imagine how they must be feeling when they heard that news.. 

so all this got me thinking again.. hais. kept thinking, what if i were in their shoes? what if something like this happens to me? what if ?

if this were to happen to me, i really have no idea what i'd do..

*sigh.

all this while, i pray for useless things. material things. 

i want this i want that

i want a E72 i want a light pink vaio. 

would i still want those things, if my whole family were gone? 

sometimes i'm blinded by all these things, all these 'wants', that i forget what's most important. 

will it be selfish of me, to wish that i'd leave this world before any of my loved ones do?

i. really. can't. handle. the. pain.

it's too much to bear. 

i just hope that when something like this does happen, i'll be strong enough to face it. 

for the time being, i'll try not to think too much. 

:(